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Volume I, Scene Fifty-Seven
MYSTERY SHARK.
coffeesuperhero wrote in spaceepicisepic


"Suzi, she can't go to Kobol," Felix said, handing a file to his secretary.

"No sir," Suzi agreed, trading him a stack of paperwork for the file.

"She can't go to Kobol, and I'll tell you why that's true. It would be an incredible waste of resources."

"I did agree with you, sir," she smiled.

"Right. Look, Wren and company are going to barge in here in about, oh," he paused to check his watch, "maybe two minutes, so, don't let anybody else through for awhile."

"No problem, sir," she said.

"She can't go to Kobol," Lucy said, moments later, stepping through the door.

"I know."

"It's a waste of resources."

"I agree," Felix said, waving Lucy into a chair as Romo appeared in the doorway.

"We all know I'm the first to appreciate anything that irritates Our Lady of the Quorum Boots," Romo began, trundling into the office with a half-eaten piece of fruit, "but this Brennan woman - she can't go to Kobol." He took another bite of fruit. "It's a waste of resources," he finished, mouth full.

"Agreed," said Lucy and Felix.

Wren's ranting preceded her. They could hear her in the hallway before she finally stepped through the door. "What the frak happened? Why did she do this? She can't go to Kobol!" Wren announced. "It's a--"

"Waste of resources," chorused the others, and Wren looked at them, amused.

"Good to know we've covered that," she said, grinning. She shut the door behind her and grabbed an empty chair.

"Wren, before you start, I had no idea what the frak she was talking about," Felix said preemptively.

"From what I hear, you handled it like a pro," Wren told him. "How did we not see this coming, is my problem."

"We've been turning down her proposals for months," Felix said, shuffling through papers, "but I had no idea she'd up and give her own press conference."

"Frakking Lords," Wren swore. "Do you have a copy?"

"Yeah, I had Suzi pull it from the wireless," he said, handing her a sheet of paper. "Here's the transcript."

"You'll be interested in knowing that the idea is gaining some support," Romo said, taking another bite out of his apple. "Namely with a small but growing contingent of Saggitarons, who have the brilliant idea that going to the home of the gods is something that's historically brought good things down on the heads of those who've tried it. When they've kept their heads, anyway."

"For frak's sake," Wren sighed. "Get Zarek over here, please. The last we need is a showdown over Kobol between us and the People's Council."

"Already done, Chief. He'll be here in twenty," Lucy said. "Who's talking to him?"

Wren frowned and tapped her lips thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to go... bring in a ringer, as they say."

"Ah," Romo said knowingly. "How quickly do you think we can get her down here?"

"She's already in town," Wren replied. "Lucy, will you get Amalia to call Dolly and Sienna's? I need to speak to Laura."

"Of course," Lucy said, and ducked out to speak to Suzi.

"Why President Roslin?" Felix asked.

"Well, for a start, they were both on Kobol together," Wren began. "If anyone can remind him how shitty if was, it's Laura. And Zarek may not be my favorite person, but I think it's a safe bet that he could see how sending a team into certain death might not be the best idea for him, politically."

"Do you think she'll do it?"

"We're about to find out," Wren said, as Lucy came back into the room. "I'll take it in my office, Lucy. "

+++

"Amalia, is she not in yet?" Lee asked.

"Sir, she's on the phone, and she told me to hold her calls, and she used, you know, That Tone," Amalia said, somewhat frantically, "so I just really don't think you should go in there unannounced."

"Well, announce me, then," Lee frowned.

"She's on the phone," Amalia repeated. "Feel free to wait, sir, but really, this could be awhile. It's that Kobol drama. Look, I promise to buzz Kinsey just as soon as she's free."

"I can wait," Lee said, planting himself in a chair by Amalia's desk.

"Whatever you say, sir," Amalia sighed.

Lee waited about seven minutes before getting up and walking into Wren's office without knocking. "Everything okay?" he asked, planting himself in front of her desk.

"Everything is the worst," Wren said, irritated, rummaging around for a pen.

"Uh-oh. Run for the hills, Prez," Eliza said mischievously from the doorway.

"What the frak are you doing here? Go educate the populace," Wren grumbled. "No, stay, gods, I hate everyone."

"Amalia told me you were like this," Eliza said. "She thought you needed some moral support."

"What I need is my frakking bodyguard to talk some sense into that frakking scientist friend of his," Wren grumbled.

"Do I detect a note of jealousy?" Eliza teased.

"Oh, for frak's sake, Eliza," Wren said, gesturing surreptitiously to Lee, who was fortunately too busy glaring at Eliza to notice.

"That's it," Lee declared, standing suddenly. "I think maybe he was a bad idea. Maybe we should get someone else for you, Wren."

"Excuse me?"

Eliza frowned. "Yeah, what gives, Prez?"

"I've been thinking about this since we hired him," Lee grumbled, "And I just don't think he's working out. He's very broody and distracting, don't you think?"

"I don't think he's broody at all," Eliza said thoughtfully. "More like courteous. Very good for morale."

Lee scoffed. "Are you kidding? He stalks around, it's distracting everyone. I should call Helo."

"He doesn't stalk! He...strides. Majestically," Wren added. "Nice breadth to his shoulders, too."

"Amazingly strong jawline," Eliza put in.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Wren agreed, shuffling through some papers. "Look, sir, I don't want him fired. Your goal has been accomplished. I feel safer with him around. I sleep better at night."

Eliza started to chuckle and hastily turned it into a cough that went on too long. Lee looked around, puzzled. Wren glared.

"Okay, 'Liza, but it's still related."

"Oh, gods," Lee groaned, and left the room. He could hear Wren and Eliza's giggles all the way down the hall. "Professionalism, my ass," he mumbled, and told Kinsey to see if the range was open.

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There is zero doubt that Booth strides majestically.

Also, Leland, take a good hard look at your own professionalism, eh? Checking out your Chief of Staff - EVERYBODY KNOWS :D

I feel like my icon says it all.

Pssh. Lee doesn't check anybody out. EVER. *_*

Yeah, that's a hot icon. Nobody can deny it.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Lee, 'Liza is onto you. You spend the entirety of all Chicks Dig Cylons shows alternating between glowering at Sam and gazing at Wren.

"Everything is the worst," Wren said, irritated, rummaging around for a pen.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the many nods to 30 Rock and TWW!! Lucy/Felix/Wren are totally channeling CJ/Sam/Josh there. Brilliant. Brilliantly brilliant brillance.

Booth is totes majestic. And your Romo is wonderfully, snarkily in character. Space epic is epic.

:D :D :D

I'm glad you're enjoying it! No one can tell that we're fans of TWW. Or 30 Rock. Or Bones. It's a total secret. ;)

Booth is so majestic that he needs a crown! Mmm.

Oh but Lee's right, Booth is totally distracting. So gorgeously distracting.

It thrills me to no end that he's in there and, y'know, I know who he is now. I really hope he and Bones can at least get their act together in Space. :D

OMG are the rest of the Squints going to make appearances?!

Booth is the MOST distracting. MMMM.

Dr. Sweets has a radio show! The others are around! Mostly annoying Baltar. Especially Angela. Who shows absolutely no interest in him. He's very confused by this.

P.S. OMFG WHAT IS UP WITH BONES?????? BRENNAN. HE'S SO PRETTY. AND HE LOOOOOOOOOVES YOU. AND THAT KISS!!!! ::FLAILS::

Oh yeah, Sweets' show! I read all the earlier mentions before actually watching Bones, so I guess the references got lost in my head to who they were. Perhaps I should go back and re-read a bunch. :D I love the thought of them bugging Baltar and Angela being all "Yeah, I'm hot, but you're getting none of this." haha

AND OHHH MY GOD I KNOW. The most recent one! Calling each other the "standards" and then GOING OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE. WHAT THE WHAT. BRENNAN, I KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS. Everything is all "is this okay to talk about?" now and ugh. Poor Booth. Poor, stupid Brennan. The way he called her his standard was... ugh, my heart broke.

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